Why Men Want Sons

Men desire sons for the same reasons that women desire daughters. Some men want the company of their own gender … to share male camaraderie, to do yard work together, or paint the house with, or go to ball games. In short, they want sons so they can do things they like to do.  And for some men,  they want to re-live what they and their dads did together:  go to ballgames, spend an afternoon fishing on a river, or dawdle the day away working on a car engine together.  Some men want to replicate the relationship they had with their own fathers, or to build a close relationship they never had with their dads.  

And like women, some men who lost their fathers prematurely report wanting to create a father-son bond that they still mourn.

Waiting for a Home Run

One man articulates this desire for a son succinctly.

I’ll admit it, I’m a baseball junkie—I was a Little League fanatic. I’m still really into baseball. I’ve saved all my trophies, uniforms, trading cards. I have a huge baseball card collection. I want to share those cards with a son. I want to take my ball stuff out of the boxes in the attic, air it out, and give it to my boy. I’m still waiting for that day.—Steve L.

Carrying on the Family Name

The more and more my husband and I talked about gender selection, the more I’d start getting excited. Now it’s all I think about. My dreams of having my little boy have been rekindled. . . . My first two daughters are from a previous marriage. So actually my current husband and I only have one daughter together. So he desperately wants to try again as he is the only male to carry on the name. We are going to give it a valiant effort as this will definitely be the last baby.—Pam K.

After Five Girls, Greek Family Yearned for a Boy!

We wanted the experience of having a boy. I wanted to see what it was like on the other side, so to speak. . . . We wanted to carry on the family name — we really needed a boy in the family. I felt some pressure to have a boy. It’s cultural, for one thing. [A Greek family] with no sons. My father-in-law and husband were the only boys.—Debbie B.

Waiting for the Son

In our home country [Vietnam], many families want a boy for their first child. We have had two daughters and are still waiting for our son. It is part of tradition in our country to put a lot of significance on having sons — to continue the family lineage, for parents’ security in their old age, for succeeding in the father’s business, and [sometimes] for ancestor worship. Vietnamese families reserve a special place for their first-born son. Men are always the head of the household. Even though we are now in America, I am still wanting a son.—Nhung K.

If you’re considering gender selection, it’s important to explore your underlying motivations and to recognize that your son may not fulfill your dreams.  Your son  may not like sports or fishing or even eating popcorn at ballgames!